I had crush on many girls....

....One of my beautiful classmate in dazzling white frock dancing with me in accordance with the melodious music of a saxophone of the royal Navy band, and all the guests amazingly watching us on the way we dance, and finally an applause when her waist line rests on my left arm and i bend over the bride and forgets completely in a moment when our lips share the sweetness of a kissssss.......mmmm...can't wait 4 that day.........


It took a hit; but in the wrong way.
A few of them were curious to know the girl who is so good to have the crush on, some of them were literally "jaws dropped", some of them kept texting and chatting to find out who the girl was. They started with questionares, wanted me to give clue, and finally argued and ended up in silly fight. One of my girlfriend (or a friend girl) went through the post and didnt show any reactions at all. Atleast she took it in the right spirit. So here comes my answer to all your queries. First and foremost, i wont give her name. Because, it may stain her image, and such stains may blotch her life. So if you are looking for a name, jump over to the next paragraph....Its just a crush i ve felt for her. Some men imagine about getting married to them, having kids, and leading a happy life. Somewhere in the middle if you find anything wrong, especially a characterestic behaviour you hate the most, you just drop the plan. Thats why I call it a crush. If i fall in love, i mean the Shakespearian love, i want to get married to that girl, irrespective of my parents opinion. But i don't want to see my parents disappointed. I am pretty sure that they will choose a girl matching my expectations, beautiful ofcourse, and its their right to do so, rather than a duty.

I don't know how, may be its from my mom that i got the logical thought process,  which i implimented in these crush matters very recently. My mom was a great analyst who promoted me from LKG to STD 1 (obviously i didn't study in UKG), only because of one reason; She wanted me to be a graduate by the time she gets retired. Perfect calculation. When i joined my college, i was a bit despirate that i haven't scored a goal. Once i tried in my 10th grade, but i was too late and didn't have the courage to express my feelings. During my higher secondary schooling, again i was late. So in college, i was getting prepared not to be late. I would like to tell you all one thing frankly. I went through my autograph previous night and found that for most of the girls in my class, i was the first boy who made an aquaintence with them in their college life. Knowingly or unknowingly i was trying to impress every girl in every possible manner. I was a different person in the sense,  everyone do it naturally, but i did it deliberately. So if anyone feels that i am a man with no self respect, you are free to walk away, but you will stay in my mind for ever...

k back to the topic. Once i started interacting with my friends, i was slowly alleviating my despriation. I realised that staying in thick friendship with a plenty of them was much better than staying connected to a pier alone. As time passed by i had already left out my impression in a few hearts. Some of them sticked along, while some of them flew away. If i still stay in your hearts, remember "birds of same feather flock together", which means, we share the same goodness. I made many friends, and the friends circle grew day by day. To start a talk with a girl, we always have a thousand barriers ahead (i am speaking about typical mallu boys). Your throat goes dry, you wont have a topic to start with, you will think what the girl will think about you if you come up with a conversation starter and finally give up the idea of talking with her. And when you see some other boy going way ahead of you, you are upset with the boy, you take him as an oversmart guy. But he is the real smart guy. In that sense i am a smart guy, or as some of my friends call me, 'smart ass'. I think all of us should develop that habbit of giving up our hesitaions, egos, and despirations; in short break the ice so that we can mingle each other very well. Agian i am deviating from the topic; sometimes i lack focus. THE LOGICAL THOUGHT PROCESS- yeah i want things to be more or less practical. Just imagine that i am getting married to that beautiful classmate. Anyway i am the youngest in my class, as i bunked UKG. So, the first problem- she is elder to me. I can manage, but depends on her too. Her parents will be trying to get her married within 3 years, or, by the time she turns 25. I will be 24 then. IT will be too early for me to get married. I am not sure whether i would have completed my PG by the time. The training, one year of service etc will push back the schedule of PG by a year or two. Why PG before marriage. It is my father's order. Else no marriage. Me too wish to be a post graduate before i get married. Else i may not get time, as i may be busy with my wife, lol...(don't take it in a wrong way, u prick). Imagine that she will wait for me. I will be at an age of 27 or 28 when i attain a financially sound position to take care of a family. By the time she will be too old to get married. Atleast i care for her. I don't want to spoil her youth waiting for me. This is applicable to all girls whom i felt a crush on.

Later i gave up the thoughts of crush, or infatuation or whatever it is. I decided to feel the fresh breath of pure friendship and its joy with no bounds. Have you had an experience of it?... But still when you meet your life's targets, there will be someone to join hands for a dancing.... Just a natural process....